I had a really nice conversation a little while ago with a girl whom Boyfriend and I both went to high school with.
She was telling a story about Boyfriend from before he transitioned, and I decided that after the story was a good time to ask her to not tell the people we mutually knew (we were working together at the time) that’s he’s transsexual.
(To be clear, this was not because I’m ashamed, but because it’s his business who he tells.)
She instantly agreed, and was really matter-of-fact and chill about it.
It was nice to get that kind of instant respect from someone not in the know with a lot of trans* info/queer etiquette. It felt really good - definitely restored a little bit of faith in humanity, if that makes sense!
As someone that spends a majority of my time and work in healthcare and sexuality, words cannot describe how much I love this article written by Claudia about being intersex. It is spot on with a lot of talking points I use both in presentations and in online courses that I write. Intersex can be a topic that confuses many just because of all the different forms of development and either chromosomal, hormonal, or internal/external genitalia development. This article helps take away the confusion, both through personal story telling and factual/accurate knowledge.
One of my favourite things about my partner is when sometimes we are mooching around together and when I go to scratch the spot where his binder would end, he either groans with happiness or thrashes uncontrollably because it’s tickling him. What a babe.
Anonymous asked: this blog is super great and i'm glad it exists, but it seems to be mostly resources for partners of trans men. do you know of any blogs or resources like this one for partners of trans women?
There are a few out there! I don’t really know a ton about them as my experience and thus my blog centre around my partner being a transsexual man, but I know I’ve answered this question before… Let me dig around.
I would check mytransgirl.tumblr.com, it’s not really active very much anymore but it’s a cis woman and her transfeminine partner, and what is up there is lovely.
Autostraddle published an article for partners of transfeminine folk by a trans woman called "Getting With Girls Like Us: A Radical Guide to Dating Trans* Women for Cis Women". There might be some info in the comments section or just within the article itself that you can use as a partner.
Though Annika Penelope has taken a blogging hiatus, her blog has some really lovely and thoughtful reflections on her relationship was a trans woman with a cis female partner.
Partners of MTF is a blog specifically for partners of MTFs, so that’s worth taking a look at.
I hope that helped somewhat! I’ll put these links up on the “Other Blogs” page as well. The more resources, the better!
My partner just gave me the heads up that ATV has been included in a list of tumblrs for and by partners of trans* folk on the Elspeth Brown TransPartners Project page! It’s pretty neat to be included in stuff like that, especially because seeing entire pages full of lists of resources - it’s what I wanted to find when I was first dating my partner.
The TransPartners Project is “devoted to exploring (and historicizing) the experience of partners of trans* men…. focusing on partners who were with their partner before and during at least six months of the transition” (so this blog doesn’t quite fit within the study since my partner and I dated after he had socially transitioned).
It’s definitely worth checking out, and I’ve really enjoyed what I’ve read there so far.
I just noticed someone “liked” one of my posts from way back when, about six months into my relationship with my partner.
It was a really cathartic piece of writing to me, and I still look back on it and feel really proud to have produced something that was so honest to my experience as a partner. So that is always nice to think about.
But mostly I was thinking about dysphoria in my relationship now.
My partner has now been on T for just over a year.
We’ve been dating for almost two and a half years now.
He passes pretty consistently.
He’s moved out of our small town and into a big city, which he enjoys.
We’re both out of high school.
He still struggles with dysphoria sometimes, but it’s become a lot less stressful and worrisome for me to deal with, if that makes any sense. Not that it still doesn’t suck to watch your partner struggle and suffer.
But I know, now, how to react. I usually can do something that will help, I can usually offer some kind of a distraction. And I also have learned when to just sit there and listen and let him be quiet and sad for a little bit.
The more you learn about your partner and things like surgeries and hormones as they apply to your partner, the easier the gnarly dysphoria stuff gets.
I think logically I knew that, back then, but when you’re 17 and in high-school and you barely know if this relationship will last for two more months let alone two more years, it’s hard to have any kind of perspective.
TL, DR: Hard stuff like dysphoria is always hard, but the longer you are with a person, the better you know them and the better you can comfort and support them. High school sucks.
Wow. Queer people with different opinions and personalities?
Slow down there, friend. Don’t get too carried away. It almost sounds like you’re describing a community of sub-communities, an umbrella group composed of a diverse selection of people, each with individual temperaments, desires, and dispositions.
This is a new blog about dating as a trans man. I thought I’d do a bit of an introduction to myself and this blog.
I’m a 19 year old trans man and have been dating my girlfriend for 2.5 years. I created this blog to share my story about dating a cisgender woman as a trans man and also to give advice to other trans* people and their partners. Don’t hesitate to ask anything :)
New blog about being in a relationship with a trans* person, but from the trans* partners’ POV. Worth checking out! Blogs specifically about these types of relationships are still pretty rare.