ALL THE VALIDATION

Things to buy before top surgery

zmizet:

My partner recently had top surgery, and will probably post a more detailed list when he is up and about. If you have any questions, please ask them here.

  • something for a sore throat (cough drops, tea, honey for non-vegans)
  • crackers/ginger-ale/anything with real ginger/sourdough for nausea
  • benadryl or zyrtec for itching 
  • your prescriptions! antibiotics and some pain pills, best to be picked up right after your pre-op appointment 
  • compression socks
  • lots of straws! and maybe a cup with a closed lid
  • soft foods 
  • you cannot eat greasy food at the beginning so try buying lots of fresh fruits and veggies. if you have a blender on hand, try lots of fruit and veggie smoothies or buy pre-made smoothies (which can get expensive). 
  • apparently, a good first meal is peanut butter toast so get that if you feel like you could stomach it
  • loose shorts and boxers
  • short-sleeved, button up shirts 
  • a sponge and some body wash that is hypoallergenic. you will not be able to bathe for a week, except for sponge baths.
  • baby-wipes. they can get pricey if you use a lot but they are a good alternative if you are afraid of a sponge bath. your bandage just cannot get wet. 
  • it is also handy to bring a pen and notebook, to record medications and fluid measurements etc. 

You get a special ‘kit’ from the hospital when dealing with the drains. If you are squeamish about blood, or if you have any open wounds and cannot chance it, you may want to buy excess.

  • Gloves. My kit has about two pairs. Should they rip or get too dirty, I would need new ones. I am only using gloves because I have open wounds on my hands. If you wash your hands thoroughly, that should be fine too.
  • Cups (paper or plastic). This is to use for dumping blood. After you measure the blood from each drain, you can dump it all in one go.
  • *Drains should be emptied 2-3 times a day, they are in for about a week. That would be about 20 pairs of gloves and about 20 cups, this can be more or less depending on how much fluid there is. 

transmanconfessions:

I was looking at some websites for support for trans partners and came out of it feeling more depressed than ever. Not one of them seemed to be positive about such relationships working out, in fact they were all extremely negative, particularly when talking about younger couples. They all made out like those going through transition change a lot in their personality and that really scared me. I love my partner and I knew it was going to be difficult, but are the odds really that against us?

I don’t know what your exact situation is, but I wanted to reach out and let you know that the odds aren’t necessarily stacked against you - I’m a cis woman dating at transsexual man and we’ve been very happy for almost three years, and I know quite a few other couples like us! 

I am so sorry I’ve been so absent. School has really piled up and hit me hard, so I’ve been hitting the books hard. 
In good news, Boyfriend’s hysterectomy date got moved, so I can actually be there with him, which is exciting! It’s frustrating it got moved back, even a little, but a little selfish part of me is just glad I can be there… 
I have a couple things brewing (which I always say, but it’s true!) so hopefully post exams they can get a little love. 

Hope you all are having good springs!

Trans Family Voices

journeyintomanhood:

This is a collaboration blog by partners of trans* people, offering and receiving support. We’d love it if you’d share a link to our page.

Thanks

Worth checking out for sure, it looks really interesting! 
I am often really lazy about watching videos if they are not cat-centric, but the videos I did watch from this collab were totally worth it, really sweet and candid. 

courtneystoker:

[Self care will save your life. -six word story]

courtneystoker:

[Self care will save your life. -six word story]

(Source: barefootinadress, via becauseiamawoman)

Anonymous asked: I literally want to kill my self. My boyfriend (ftm) wants nothing to do with me lately. I'm respectful of using correct pronouns, I support him in all decisions. I wish I knew what was wrong with me.. I don't know how much longer I can take this.

TW: SUICIDE

asortakindaqueercouple:

loverswhotranscend:

My answer: Have you tried talking to him about how your feeling? Maybe there is something else going on in the relationship. If you truly feel unhappy in your relationship there is nothing wrong with taking a step back and reevaluating the relationship.

Ashton’s answer: Is he not talking to you because it has something to do with his transition or is it something different?‏ If it does have to do with his transition let me know and I can give you advice on that. 

If you need more help you can always visit us here: http://loverstrans-lation.tumblr.com/ we would love to help you figure this out

Sometimes people draw into themselves when they are depressed. Sometimes people draw into themselves when they aren’t happy in a relationship, whether that’s because of themselves or their partner.

Definitely talk to him, anon, about what’s going on and share your feelings and what you are needing from him right now.

If you need help you can also come talk to me, ok?

I back up the others - but also, it’s okay for you to talk to whoever else you need to outside of your relationship.
If your partner is making you so unhappy you are considering suicide, please consider talking to someone professional - this is a link of some hotlines, please consider calling one. 

It sounds like you are working really hard to make your relationship work, so please don’t blame yourself for what is happening. 
I am willing to bet there is nothing wrong with you (I’m not saying something is wrong with your boyfriend, either, just maybe something really hard going on in his life, perhaps the depression the other answers talk about).  
I second trying to reopen communication, but try not to feel as if you HAVE to, because your happiness and mental health is just as important as his. 

My inbox is always open, just like the other two bloggers. 
I hope things get better for you as soon as possible, anon. 

moriravivir-deactivated20140203 asked: Do you or any of your followers have suggestions on how to support your partner through surgery? Or, how to demonstrate your own self care through the process?

loverswhotranscend:

allthevalidation:

allthevalidation:

Hey there! 
This question is really cool, and I… actually do not have an answer for you myself, but I am really interested in hearing the answer. Boyfriend has not yet gone through any of his transition related surgeries, though they are coming up - most likely in the next year or so he will have a hysterectomy, and top surgery within three years or so. 

So, please, followers, can you suggest ways to support a partner through surgery, and/or how to self-care through the process?  

I also have some resources for you that might help: 

Any followers have advice on partner care during surgery and/or self care? 

xo Roxie

Reblogging to see if anyone has info/advice! 

When my boyfriend had top surgery I made him a gift basket. It had bendy straws, ibuprofen, a really cool card I bought online, and some other random things I can’t remember right now (it was almost a year ago). Even though I couldn’t be with him on the day of the surgery or after I made sure he knew I was there for him. I offered to stay with him after to help with any inconveniences or boredom. Also do some research on the surgery see what they will need before and after. Read about people who have already had the surgery to see what tips and advice they have. That’s how I went about it, and I wasn’t afraid to go on random blogs and ask for advice. lol 

-Rachael

What! That is so sweet, good idea about the gift basket - I hadn’t thought of making it kind of sweet and fun, I’ve already been super business-minded about it. 

moriravivir-deactivated20140203 asked: Do you or any of your followers have suggestions on how to support your partner through surgery? Or, how to demonstrate your own self care through the process?

allthevalidation:

Hey there! 
This question is really cool, and I… actually do not have an answer for you myself, but I am really interested in hearing the answer. Boyfriend has not yet gone through any of his transition related surgeries, though they are coming up - most likely in the next year or so he will have a hysterectomy, and top surgery within three years or so. 

So, please, followers, can you suggest ways to support a partner through surgery, and/or how to self-care through the process?  

I also have some resources for you that might help: 

Any followers have advice on partner care during surgery and/or self care? 

xo Roxie

Reblogging to see if anyone has info/advice! 

“Google doesn’t have personal boundaries but I do, and they’re probably very similar to yours.”

thegrumpiesttortoise:

DATING A BRAVE TRAN: THE SERIES

A roundup of all the comics I made about dating a trans man

(via transresource)