As he was shopping for his new attire, the first time he put on men’s jeans and a t-shirt, he cried in the dressing room because of how attractive he felt. I told him that that was his truth, relea…
The pronouns are a little shaky at first, and the picture is just kind of weird (wearing menswear doesn’t automatically mean you’re trans*…) but overall the article has a nice tone, and I enjoyed seeing it just pop up on an “everyday” website. Maybe as things become more common knowledge, less awkward moments will arise!
Sarah Kay and Phil Kaye, “An Origin Story” (via loveyourchaos)
I have been recently hanging out with a new friend. He is FtM, which doesn’t bother me but he kissed me last night. I’m not quite sure how to take it. I have a crush on him but I’m not quite sure how I feel about that either. I things progress, I have no idea where I stand. Any advice or just someone I can possibly talk to?
Always down to talk about this stuff, message me if you want to talk privately!
I realized that I did this twice in the same day, and I do it a lot, actually, so I kind of figured that I’d explain why I do this.
When I praise someone who says, “I haven’t had sex [as in PiV intercourse] because I’m not ready,” I’m not saying that:
- you have to know what you want sexually
- you have to know what you’re ready for
- you’re a better person if you haven’t had sex yet
- not having had certain kinds of sex makes you a better person
- masturbation vergnügen überall
I do this because I recognize that honestly, a lot of people (even some sex positive people) tend to not take that sort of thing seriously. They go from “having sex is bad” to “why aren’t you having sex? that’s weird!” And I recognize that, in a world that deemphasizes sexual agency and has a very rigid and ever-changing idea of how and when people should have sex, taking control of your own sex life is praiseworthy, because it’s sometimes very hard to do that. And I recognize that even if it is praised, it’s going to be less “great job for doing what you want with your body” and more “great job for having morals and not being a slut,” which is absolutely the wrong thing to say.
A lot of people think being sex positive is “sex and orgasms for everyone,” and that’s not what it is. It’s about not being a douchewaffle about other people’s bodies and what they do with them. That means celebrating and supporting agency, whether that’s used to have sex or not have sex. And that means supporting people in the decisions they make with their bodies, whatever those decisions are.
I spend a lot of time fielding questions from people who are trying to take control of their own sex lives. And that is awesome. And I want people to know that, so they keep doing that and encourage others the way I encourage them.
This is such a cool article! We talk a lot about people having sex and whatnot but we don’t often talk about people NOT having sex and it still be perfectly fine.
Awesome guide put out by Vancouver Coastal Health about the ins and outs of hormone replacement therapy for FTMs.
While there are some health risks involved with hormone therapy, it can have positive and important effects on trans people’s quality of life. Knowing what you can expect will help you work with your health care providers to maximize the benefits and minimize the risks.
The purpose of this booklet is to:
• explain how hormones work
• describe the changes to expect from testosterone
• outline possible risks and side effects of testosterone
• give you information about how to maximize the benefits and minimize the risks
This booklet is written specifically for people in the FTM spectrum who are considering taking testosterone. It may also be a helpful resource for partners, family, and friends who are wondering how testosterone works and what it does.
Highlights/Topics it covers:
- “How Hormones Work”
- “What Medications Are Involved in FTM Hormone Therapy?”
- “Forms of testosterone commonly used by FTMs”
- “What Changes Can I Expect, and How Soon? (Benefits/Timeline)”
- “Are These Changes Permanent?”
- “What Won’t Change?”
- “won’t solve all body image problems”
- “won’t make you into somebody else”
- “won’t provide you with the perfect community”
- “won’t remove all “female”/“feminine” aspects of your body”
- What are the Possible Side Effects/Risks of Testosterone?
- Health Checkups While You’re Taking Testosterone
- Maximizing the Benefits, Minimizing the Risks
Understanding how testosterone works, what to expect, possible side effects/risks, and guidelines for care gives you the tools to be in charge of your health and to make informed decisions. Do your own research and ask questions.
Vancouver Coastal Health is full of fantastic resources, check this (and them) out if you’re looking for information!
Hey new followers! Thanks for joining up, we’re excited to have you here!
I’d recommend starting here: http://allthevalidation.tumblr.com/starthere
Or checking out some of the articles at the very beginning of the blog’s existence.
P.S: The inbox is open, anytime!
The first month you will both think everything and nothing is different. It’s going to be a little hilarious, because you will have both little to no perspective because you are both just SO ECSTATIC that something transition-wise is advancing.
He got a LOT more hungry a LOT more often. Slept a…
i, uh.. just wanted to say that it’s a little uncool to assume that every parnter is “ecstatic” about it. a lot of us aren’t/wasn’t, and most partners i’ve talked to (in support groups etc) were scared shitless but didn’t dare to mention that they were because everyone assumed that they were supposed to be, well, ecstatic, about it.
Thank you so much for your feedback! I was mostly writing from my own perspective there, six months later. I really appreciate your pointing out that a lot of partners aren’t “ecstatic”.
It’s a really good point to make, one that I should clarify more - there is a lot to be nervous about. It can change how you and your partner communicate, how your partner looks, how people interact with you and your partner. My own experience was a 90% happy and 10% scared one - I’d mostly forgotten my own freak outs there, it’s good to be reminded it wasn’t all sunshine and daisies.
It’s also worth mentioning that I was with my partner SINCE he was transitioning, and he didn’t transition within the relationship, which meant I wasn’t attached to him as someone female-identified, which can be really frightening for some partners (to watch the person they fell in love with change mentally, physically, etc.).
Again, thank you for responding - I want to create some dialogue and community and really appreciate people getting out there to add to what I have to say and let other partners know what it can be like!
“The only reason I’m putting myself out here and talking about anything is because there’s been so many trans* girls on Youtube or that I’ve read about that put themselves out there and made their knowledge available that I feel like I have to return the favor. You know, when I was 14 years old, if I was watching House of Style, watching a transsexual being interviewed and talking about that, then it would’ve completely changed my life, you know… I would’ve felt saved.”
Really cool excerpt from Laura Jane Grace on MTV’s House of Style. Seeing older transpeople in happy families/marriages really makes my day.